feeling sick

I'm feeling sick ! Sick of myself . Felt so dull recently . I need satisfaction ! Dont let me feel that I'm loosing please.

Struggle very hard , like a drowning men hope to grab something . I wanna grab everything ! Yes , I'm greed , greed , wish to swallow the world. Where am I ? The one lost in the haste , at some where very deep in my heart .Where am I ?

Am I not aggressive enough ? I wonder , maybe ... sometimes . Yes , I admit . My life is dull, I know myself very well , I know what I want , it's just I cant get . Am I not qualified ? or , it's not belongs to me ? I know what am I doing , yes I'm not feeling good. and , yes , feeling like a dumbo . I met it twice I lost it twice , does it considered lost ? cause I'm not even get a chance to hold it . what a waste , what a mess .

Anyway , lets roll the tape .Life should keep going. Silent my mind please. Shuffle to the next stop.

How good am I ?

How good am I ? What do I deserve ? I keep asking myself ...

I want it so bad , to live my way , but things happened just made a heart broken , but at the end , I think , does it belongs to me ? Anyway , life should be compromise , sometimes. Good luck , bad luck , who know ? lets give life a smile . =)

Work harder ? work smarter ? working smart and hard , seeking for perfection , but , aint easy as ABC ... believe that fruit will grow after plenty years of planting effort.

Learn ! learn and learn .... keep learning , told myself , I will be someone , somebody , someday later !

Anyway , this's just a recording of my life . =)